Last updated: 29 July 2023
Light is at the end of the tunnel. London has been on Covid-19 lockdown since 23 March 2020.
More than two months later, it’s safe to assume that we’re all a bit over it. The deserted streets, pubs with boarded up windows, and seeing the same faces day in and day out. The highlight for many of us is Thursday evenings for the Clap for Carers where new faces on balconies and in the street can be spotted as we communally thank the resilient NHS staff for getting us through a pandemic.
Whether we like it or not, life in East London will change after lockdown restrictions ease. But exactly how will life be different when some sense of normality does finally return?
- New two-wheeling hobbyists will become entitled cyclists, dressed like they’re training for the Tour De France. Denoting a strong disregard for traffic lights and arrive at their destination with an air of smugness that comes from their carbon neutral transportation.
- The Central Line will return to its long held status as the hottest and most cramped tube line. – A member of the TFL once remarked to us that he referred to it as the sweat gland of the underground. How very apt indeed.
- Wannabe marathon runners who got a taste for jogging in lockdown will flock to the streets in droves. With the choof-choof, gasps, and hisses as they make their way through the deluge of commuters in their neon-coloured trainers. Seemingly perturbed by the fact the entire pavement doesn’t belong to them. Their favourite haunt is along the canal where the pavement is particularly narrow and social distancing rules apparently do not apply to them.
- The real estate market will be flooded with everyone looking to divorce or do away with living with 8 people in a 5 bed share-house and only one bath.
- Only one person will be able to get onto the Tube at Bethnal Green in rush hour.
- Victoria Park & London Fields will be filled with tiny disposable BBQ trays, picnic blankets and remnants of Pimms and prosecco – even on the greyest of days.
- The caliber of every workplace’s Bake Off will now be levelled up past packet-mix cakes and mediocre banana bread with flour sourced from Rinkoff’s of course.
- Thousands of furloughed staff will be outraged that they’re no longer being paid to stay at home and brush their dog Coco who now, courtesy of lockdown, has her own Instagram account and 30,000 followers.
- Handshakes will disappear, long remembered like the pages of a history textbook, only to be swiftly replaced by the return of hat doffing.
- Only those in the know will get reservation at a bar, restaurant, or bottomless brunch over the next few months.
- Pubs by parks will open their beer gardens as well as continuing to sell takeaway pints, making up their lockdown losses in one sunny weekend.
- Hairdressers and barbers will struggle with reopen as the coronashag, a gender neutral disheveled hirsute style; becomes the new east London look de rigueur.
- Farmers Markets will now feature popup stands by east London’s bars serving overpriced takeaway cocktails in bioplastic cups and paper straws.
- The summer open air cinema season will flourish with socially distant BYO picnics, fold-up chairs and blow-up bean bags will become a thing.
- Narrowboat owners with prime spots along the canals, stoking tiny outdoor BBQs stocked with organic vegan produce will become the next food craze.
- Simply Fresh will stock extra organic flour, eggs and toilet paper promising to be out of stock again.
- Non-essential retail will open and the whole city will flock to Oxford Circus to stock up on superfluous tat that they can’t get on Roman Road.
Until the FCO and Government change their travel advice, stay local, support small businesses, care for your loved ones, and keep in touch for those who are far away.
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